Buy a computer. Hook it up to the internet. Turn it on.
Pick a social media platform to share your life with...add yourself to it.
Communicate with people.
Love what you do.
See some people for who they really are and how miserable their lives are.
Use your Psychology classes to figure people out.
Open the window.
TOSS the computer out of it.
My life is overfull currently. Plenty full of love, don't get me wrong. But like all of you, it's full of drama, and pain and things to get done and not enough time in a day to get them done. And with holidays coming, and info to share...and a company that hates my guts forever lurking...you know...the daily grind, it feels really full.
I am here doing what I can blog-wise but not enough to get it all organized and pretty like I would want it to be. Life happens and some days my devotion is spread out thin.
This isn't a complaint of it...my life is this way because I chose for it to be this way, this is just some of what is happening to keep me from not always responding in a timely manner to all of your questions. That, and I do not have any social notifications turned on. I shut them off some time ago when I started feeling like Pavlov's dog with all of the dinging and checking out what it was that was dinging for my attention. At least that dog found a reward.
Anywho, I hurt myself months ago and I am trying to get that mended and with some days having a pain level from 1-10, to a good 1-50...so, I can't do it all.
Again, not looking for pity...I am fine. Just busy. An example is while dressing to go to the doctor recently I grabbed my Clarks leather mary jane shoes...slipped them on and left. I went about my entire day and did NOT notice until I slipped them off at night that I grabbed two almost exact shoes...except the one shoe had one strap and the other had two. Exact same color...same style...shoe bottom...design...but in my rush, I never noticed the straps. They were covered by my jeans so I never saw the straps. Hubby still looks down at my feet when we leave for the day and we both laugh.
A recent situation...
I can't find the time most days to check out my family and friends facebook pages nevermind interacting with the other pages I follow on Facebook and on Instagram. I try at midnight or later when I am in bed and cannot sleep, or if I have a break in my day I will look and Like something...maybe answer a question.
Twitter and YouTube aren't really a thing I do. If I saw a link I can click on it but it isn't something I may check daily. And I mention YouTube only because of a situation that happened Friday and Saturday.
Friday early morning, I started receiving private messages on Facebook from friends of my page offering me condolences on my loss. Keep in mind, some people were new to my FB page and some were here for some time so at first, I thought maybe someone read my blog and were being kind over my loss of my daughter from years ago. I didn't take the time then to respond to them all as I was doing something but made a mental note to check them out in the evening.
Throughout the day, a few more messages came and I thought it odd.
Another message came offering me condolences over the loss of my brother. And I said WHAT? What are you talking about, OMG no, that can't be me.
I asked why would you say that, And I was told that some YouTube person made mention to it that Tess in the candle community lost their brother and asked was that me and if so she just wanted to say how sorry she was to me.
I said it isn't me... but in this crazy world who knows what someone is saying somewhere.
Some time had passed and I had already spoken with my brother because this kind of thing can shake you up and he asked me if I ever asked who said it. I never did.
Around 6 pm, I wrote the person who told me again and asked if she could tell me where this was.
After a while, I was told who it was and that it was in a video that they had posted....( I was not told which and I never asked which video) so I went to YouTube looking to see what was said.
I don't follow people on YouTube so most of the videos posted by this person were reviews for candles. Talk about a needle in a haystack. I chose a video that was mainly talking and watched that one.
I didn't see anything mentioned in the video I selected about anyone's brother but I did see and hear my name being mentioned close to the end of the video and as usual it was a sort of passive-aggressive comment. (what else is new)
Saying "Here is the list that Tess from Life Inside the Page shared for candle day, and I love Tess.. ( and I thought, well that was nice )
and then he continued on to say, "but she was one of those who dropped me like a hot potato when it was popular to do."
"Never said one unkind word about Tess, Maybe once in eight years."
"She's a little short. Fused."
" And I am too, we're very reactive people."
"But she won't acknowledge me as of since I came back."
"I can love her she doesn't have to talk to me." He followed up with a few other comments about people not being nice ( I am guessing there has been other drama unknown to me) he thanked Life Inside the Page and noted he will put the link to her blog below and the video ended.
Now, this isn't the first time this person said anything bad about me. I was one of the lucky ones that were ripped apart years and years ago in a random video that was later removed and I was given a public apology in a video later because I forgave what was said and wasn't upset with him. I understood the back story and the stress that comes with social media.
So after watching this video I was kind of....hmmm... I guess he is feeling a certain way about me now that I didn't know about.
I guess my not interacting and not engaging in some way all of these months was festering into something that was shared...the way it was...passive-aggressive. Because any comments regarding the list of candles on candle day didn't need anyone one's name for credit.
But perhaps he wanted to make it known that I don't speak with him. Adding me to a list of others who don't since his return. I don't know what's in the mind of another person...I do not claim to. Hell, I have enough trouble putting on matching shoes these days.
I didn't say anything public by commenting on his video...I simply sent him a text on Instagram that read... "Sad. Very Sad."
I went to type more to him and the person who told me who was talking about a Tess and her brother messaged me on Facebook again and said the comments about that person were on a community page that I can find them there. As I looked on that community board I saw the post was made from three days prior.
I went back to Instagram to finish my thought and I was already getting a response from him.
He was reactive with his comment back to me asking why am I calling him sad and insulting him and I explained what had happened with the person from Facebook who must be following him, that she was telling me about -someone named Tess lost their brother- and some might have thought it was me because they were offering me condolences all day and I couldn't find out where it was said and who it really was who lost their brother.
Which was the reason I went to YouTube to see who it was about.
But in going to that video, where he mentioned me at the end, that it saddened me that he felt that way about me that reason for my contacting him was about him being upset with me.
It...did not go well from there and he let me have it. Both barrels. And the only thing to do was to deescalate it. When he wrote, "What can I do for you"...
I said, "take care. Night." I saw where this was going and I ended it.
Nothing was public. It was all between one person on Facebook who messaged me and one private IG text to him.
And I went to bed only to find worse drama publically this Saturday morning.
First thing, the Facebook person texted me that he made a long post in his community page saying I was playing the victim that I was so upset that people offered me condolences that I assumed it was me they were talking about as if I was the only Tess and how would he know my brother that I am not his friend. That his friend Tess is his friend and I am not and blah blah mentioning me and my blog/social media name over and over again.
They don't twist taffy as much as he twisted this nonsense to make me out as the bad guy and to get pity from his followers.
And then I found in IG messenger from him a video link from days prior...(like I would know to look at a candle review for this nonsense...) and a note that read..." next time instead of creating a lot of unnecessary drama for yourself and for me just ask me if you a problem. If you clearly watch the video you would know it's not you because you're not part of my candle family. Have a great day."
And he blocked me on IG.
So, you would think it was over with...right?
Nope. I get another Facebook message that now hes doing a candle review and disparaging me and my page name on the video.
There is not enough Migraine Medicine in my cabinet for the headache I have...but I still go over and listen to the video.
I mean...when I fell asleep did I somehow wake up in the Twilight Zone? Is this for freaking real?
Responding in the comments did nothing.
And he has edited his initial community posting regarding his friend Tess and her loss... letting everyone know again, I am not his friend, it is not me.
All I can say is YES... we all now know that I am not your friend...according to you... Numerous times it was mentioned. I get it. We all get it. No one will be mistaking me, Tess from Life Inside the Page for your friend any time soon.
And it is fine. I may not have responded to your comments on my IG page, if you made them there...but goodness....I hardly have time to respond to others' comments too. But I guess great offense was taken that I didn't follow and answer something and it festered into something it needn't have been. And it is sad. There is so much hate in the world, we all don't need to be adding to it. In one of my messages that went to him I wrote that social media has this way of eroding all of us. Our Surfaces. And little by little it changes us.
And you're thinking...why do you care.
I am human to start with. I saw the body language on the video and reaction at the mention of my name and he was truly upset with me over something.
I care because no matter what I was trying to say he was not understanding/or listening that it wasn't about the TESS name...and I was upset people who were texting me. I didn't know any of this and wouldn't have but for the fact, I was texted. I went to find out what was going on, not that I thought he knows me and my family and was reporting something about me personally. Of course, he doesn't. I was in no way trying to take anything away from someone who is grieving the loss of a family member and I told him that I found it perverse that he would think that...knowing about my own loss.
He then took all of this and contorted it to fit whatever he believes and it becomes the crap that his followers will come after me about. Torches and Villagers.
I try my best to hit all social media accounts to try to answer what I can when I can...because I have notifications off so I don't always know if there are comments. I notice that other friends to the page ( I say friends to the page a lot in reference to those who come and read and comment because that is what I think of them as...friends ) Friends to the page do help answer questions for me....and it is greatly appreciated.
Life...it is what it is currently and there are still only 24 hours to a day and I try to fit everything I need to do into those moments.
Some days it isn't pretty...but I do what I can. All while wearing matching shoes. Hopefully.