Life Inside The Page

“The true alchemists do not change lead into gold; they change the world into words.” – William H. Gass

Life Writings

A Absolute Bath & Body Works fan who writes a blog for both men and women covering various topics including photography, gardening, cooking, arts and crafts .
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Life Writings | I am reminded

I am reminded often...

We all have these things in our day that test us... and when they happen we think the "ole woes me" as if nothing anyone else has going on in their lives is as bad...and then figure out the way to work through it...all while maybe suffering along the way.

Being a person of faith I know that everything that is set before me is what I am supposed to face next...whether or not I like it.

Ha Ha, a dear friend told me once while I was in the beginning stages of grieving Angeline that if we all took our "crosses" and toss them into a pile, we would soon run for our own because what others have to bear is usually more than ours. How true.

My injury to my arm in April is starting to turn a corner thanks to the dedication of the OT department who have been giving me therapy three times a week for the past two months. Something so simple as lifting something too heavy (and improperly when I knew better) had me questioning where this would end up after numerous Xrays and talks of nerve testing and possible surgery. The agonizing pain in the joint and shocks into my fingers caused me to stop using the arm and the arm stiffened up. Fortunately, the therapy has my arm "almost" ready to be back in the ring of life for another round... Put me in coach!

We are still working on getting the pain gone with extension...but I am hopeful.

And just when you think....you're good...something else starts up.

The chronic...I guess when it began in 2002 and has been going on since then, I can call it chronic...issues in my right eye seemed to settle down a bit this February. This latest round of inflammation was going on for two years and after numerous injections, I was ready for it to be gone. It seemed to settle somewhat and the next appointment was set for October. I was happy to see that while the vision in that eye is quite crappy from inflammation and steroids and now a cataract from the steroids...it seemed to be holding its own.

As the months ticked away and I was busy taking care of everything else going on I noticed recently "floaters" not only in that eye but the good one now too. UGH! This is not a good thing. Something that was expected I guess with this condition being an auto-immune response to whatever it is causing all of this...( and still remains unknown) but I was hopeful that this day would be long into old age.

What was upsetting is the condition of the "bad" eye took many years to become what it is. Suddenly, now...the perfect clarity of the other eye is gone and it is much worse than the bad eye. My Retinologist is quite perplexed...as am I. I have been put through bunches of tests that all have been thankfully, negative. But that just prolongs things.

He has suggested (and was quickly shot down by me) a regimen of high dose steroids to sort of re-start my immune system. Everything about that direction is a big red flag for not only me but my family internist as well. I have done the research on that protocol and it is terrible. And not only it is terrible and could cause even worse problems, the issue can return.

Having a family history of cancer, I decline. I don't want to jump on a treatment that has no guarantee of success because of years of frustration. Sixteen years of frustration to be exact. Second opinions from doctors of his choice have all said the same thing...treat it locally as that seems to send it into remission.

So with days of not seeing well and the "floaters" not settling...I called Thursday and got an appointment for Friday. I sort of had an idea of what was going to happen...but that didn't make me feel any better as I did my routine yesterday.

Sight is one of those fundamental blessings we all have that most don't think too much about. I am thankful for it every day my feet hit the floor.

And yes, I was scared, and sad and feeling bad for myself. The doctor is not close and we decided to stop for food...Chinese of course...before the hour drive. I was sitting there staring at my plate worried about the next hour and the results.

I didn't want to cry during the silence at the table and my hubby saw it coming and he kept reassuring me that we went through all of this before. I told him I knew that and I pray that the doctor will be guided to fix me as I am a hot mess.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the hostess seating a family with children and the youngest child walking past our table was blind...with the red tipped cane tapping in front of him. UGH. I looked at hubby and remarked I am being a baby and look at that poor child, so young and blind.

And I listened to him coming back past our table happily talking about what he was going to eat. I shook my head...at myself.

We were done and I took the check up to pay as my hubby went to use the restroom and at the sushi bar there was a woman, who was missing one arm and had a leg prosthesis ( the curved running kind), picking out her lunch.

Okay...Lord, I get it. :)

A few hours later, and a few tests later, I was in the chair in the examining room waiting to get injections into both of my eyes. Never done on me before, this was a first. And the nurse assisting the doctor was new too - Yay. Someone should have instructed her that while the needle is in - MY EYE - Do Not push so hard on the patient that the head rest underneath moves. (eye roll). Thankfully they still can roll.

Let me tell you.... that HURTS. And the pressure is not fun either.

The swelling went down as did some of the purple bruising so I am again ready coach.

So now we start the injections...and the prayers...and work towards putting this latest issue to rest. I love my life too much to not see it before me.

I woke today to hubby looking down at me from my side of the bed checking if I was still swollen with two shiners. I smiled at him, asked was I okay and then sat up.

Immediately I got vertigo...HAHA...and it passed. Ah, Dizzyness...how I've missed you.

Yep. Everything in threes...Time for the (steroid) sinus spray.

I am reminded often...to keep my faith... as I am a hot mess!

Dollar Tree | Halloween Books/Storage Boxes
Beauty | Target Beauty Box September
 

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Wednesday, 21 November 2018

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