Monday, 06 April 2020 12:13

Life Writing | With Monday Comes Another Passing

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With Monday comes another passing. 

Here we are in Holy Week and I am sad.  Nothing feels as if it is right...I guess because it isn't. 

Palm Sunday came and went and there were no public church services held, and no passing out of the blessed palms.  And it is sadness.  I won't be with my family on Easter...I won't be making baskets up for them...I didn't even want a ham for dinner this year.  I told hubby I didn't care if we ate sandwiches.  He did buy the ham anyway. 

I recognize the celebration of the Resurrection of Christ for our beliefs has nothing to do with Easter baskets and dinners together and with all that is happening in the world, I know it is a blessing for us all to have our health.  If I had to guess I think some of what I am feeling is based around death.  Death of those around the world during such a blessed time and the deaths close to home.


I've noticed my interest in reading the paper now is waning.  Perhaps it is the overload of the same thing being said over and over again that has pushed me to only glance at the headlines, and the obituaries on the front page before casting the paper off to the side.  Truth be told...I am sick of seeing our friend's names in the Obit section.

We lost our friend/ neighbor Richie a few months ago...not even knowing that he had died.  He always passed by my kitchen window daily on his grocery run and would often chat with my husband and the other neighbors about his life.  He was older and missed all of those who were gone before him so this interaction was good for him and for us.  When we hadn't seen him for a while, we thought it was just our being busy, wintertime, or his very early morning jaunts out and our timing was off.   But his absence was noted.  We asked our friends if they had seen him and we were told he was found dead in his home a week or so after passing.  A case like what happened to our neighbor Mary.  Stacked up newspapers...and mail stuffed inside of the box...and no one (like the mailman) reported it.  We even overlooked his notice in the paper because Ritchie was the middle name he went by and the family used his first name.  There was no funeral just a quiet burial done by his nephew. Daily as I stand at the sink looking out at the side yard I do miss seeing his wave to me as he sped up the path heading home and I remember all that we shared as friends and neighbors.  That I suppose, has to be enough. He was 70.

Last Monday, one of my husband's best friends (Jimmy) passed away after a battle with cancer. We had heard he was ill and was moved into a nursing home for a time, and was refusing visitors. His family told us he didn't want his friends to see what the disease had done to him.  I know exactly how that was with my mom.  In a matter of a week, she had changed so drastically in the hospital that she refused to let my husband and our daughter visit her. I even walked past her room not recognizing her on my first trip to see her.  I am sad for my husband that he could not say goodbye to his long-time pal. He has been telling me stories all week of their times together.  Sadly, with all that is happening now, there was private internment done by his brother and no mention of any memorial at a later time. He was only 63.

Also last Monday, our long time friend and neighbor passed away here in his home.  We were blown away.  Ray has lived in this neighborhood for 47 years or so and was the go-to guy for anything you could need.  He was the guy who came and plowed your driveway when you didn't have a snowblower and the snow was up to your hips. He was the man who called the police when our home was robbed (his surveillance cameras caught the guy running out of our back door and into the alleyway)  and he even got in his car and chased the burglar with the police. His home is in the yard next to Mary's facing ours.  And again, with all that is happening with the virus, we can't even go over and console his family.  He too was buried immediately and thankfully, a Memorial will be planned at a later time, as I expected it would as he was involved in our city's politics.  My husband just looked out of the window at his home and remarked that he still can't believe he is gone.  He was only 71.

And today, Monday...we are saddened to see our friend Kate has passed away suddenly.  She was the woman in charge of the church's office affairs and one of the kindest people we know.  We met her when Angeline was killed and we had to formalize all that needed to be done for the burial.  She was a Godsend to us at a time when we needed strength...and we never forgot her.  Over the years she would call to check in on us and to let us know the happenings in the church over prayer services for Angel.  She was the lifeblood of the church.  And we are again, shocked at seeing her name in the Obit section this morning.  She was only 60.

I know as a Christian, those who pass are in a far better place...but part of me will always feel the loss of the day to day interactions deep, in my heart pieces.

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